Decluttering Tips: Listen To Your Feelings

We all have a complicated relationship with our stuff.

There are things we keep because they're useful, things we love, things that make us happy, things we've inherited and adore, things we've inherited and keep out of a sense of familial obligation, things that are treasured gifts from beloved friends, things that will "do" until we get a better/nicer/not-falling-apart version, things that spark happy memories, things we keep as reminders of people and places and other times in our life, things we bought that we thought we were going to love but now feel lukewarm about, things we panic bought for a particular occasion, things we bought to treat ourselves when we were stressed or unhappy, things we bought because they were cheap, things we think we might need someday... and so on!

Our posessions are all tangled up with our feelings and our memories, with what our lives used to be like and what we hope (or worry) might happen in the future. Because of this, I think the starting point for any decluttering you're doing is to pay attention to your feelings about the things you own.

Feelings can be complicated, just like this chart!

Being honest with yourself about your emotional relationship with your stuff will help the decluttering process in three ways:

1. You'll have a much clearer idea about the things you really love and want to keep - and you'll also identify items with negative associations which you'd definitely be happier without. 

For example, a few years ago I got rid of a whole load of letters from when I was a teenager. I wrote so many letters as a teen and kept all the ones I received from friends, and I loved the idea of having boxes of them to reread as the years went by... But in reality, re-reading them stirred up all sorts of angst and teen drama which was no fun to revisit. I sorted through the boxes to find a few special cards and letters to remember the friendships by and shredded the rest.

If you're dealing with really raw emotion - say, from a recent break-up - it can also be helpful to put the associated items away for a while (in a box under the bed or in the back of a cupboard) to come back to when time has worked her healing magic.

2. When you're clearing out a "collection" of things, like books or clothes, paying attention to your feelings about each item will help you spot the ones you're least attached to and can do without.

For example, when I was clearing out books from my childhood, the ones which overwhelmed me with heart-bursting happy memories as I looked through them went on the "keep" pile. The ones which I remembered fondly but which didn't have a strong emotional response to were all candidates for possible decluttering.

3. Asking yourself "why do I want to keep this?" can help you pin down why you still own each item, whether you still want to and what's getting in the way of you getting rid of it.

For example, people often talk about getting rid of clothes you haven't worn in the last six months or a year. This is a very practical, sensible idea! But I could never actually manage it - there were always things I never wore but still couldn't bear to part with.

Thinking about why I wanted to keep each of these items made me realise that there were things I felt guilty about getting rid of because they'd been an expensive purchase, things I associated with happy times when I used to wear them all the time, and things I liked the idea of myself wearing (and the stylish, professional person I'd magically become when I did) but which actually didn't fit in with my life or my personal style.

After being honest with myself about why I was hanging onto all this stuff it became a lot easier to let them go.


Are you a ruthless and logical declutterer? (Declutterer is totally a word, OK??) Or do you find  - like me - that you've got all sorts of weird feelings going on when you sort through your stuff?


This post is part of a new series I'm writing full of tips and tricks I've found useful during years of decluttering. Click here to read all the posts in the series. 

A Year of Wreaths: March Daffodil Wreath

UPDATE: my March Daffodils Wreath Tutorial is now available as a printable pattern over on my Patreon.

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Click here to see all 12 seasonal wreaths in this series!

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Every month this year I'm creating a seasonal wreath for The Village Haberdashery's blog. This month I'm celebrating the early signs of spring with lots of cheerful daffodils and narcissi!

The subtle variations in colour of the hand-dyed Malabrigo yarn create a gorgeous stripy effect around the wreath, and the felt flowers add a vibrant pop of cheerful colour.

If you don't want to make the whole wreath you could adapt this tutorial to make floral brooches or headbands, or add stems to the flowers to create a felt bouquet.

 
Subscribe to my newsletter for a monthly(ish) free pattern and visit my crafty tutorial archive for lots more free projects.

Exploring the Piccadilly Line: Houslow West, Osterley & Boston Manor

Have you ever been on a photowalk? They're lots of fun... even when they don't involve all that much walking.

Last summer I went on a Art Deco themed photowalk organised by Kate of Made by Mrs M, exploring some of the great architecture on the Piccadilly Line. We visited Rayners Lane and Sudbury Hill, Sudbury Town and Park Royal, then took a detour to Chiswick Park for lunch. Now it's time to share the final part of our day...

In the afternoon we got the Tube out to Hounslow West, planning to work our way back to Central London afterwards via a couple more stations. It turns out that we probably should have saved Hounslow West for last because it turned out to be an absolute gem.

It didn't look too promising to start with but then we reached the ticket hall and wow! What a space.

The hall has seven sides, with a huge seven-sided light hanging from the middle of the ceiling. There's an original wooden ticket counter. And the colours are fantastic: that green! combined with those pink and orange tiles! Amazing. 

 

We all practically swooned, then rushed around taking lots of photos and saying "oooh" a lot - much to the amusement of the staff! It seems they don't get a lot of groups of women showing up with cameras and going into raptures over the fixtures and fittings.

After we'd all filled our cameras up with photos of Hounslow West, we headed back along the Piccadilly line to Osterley.

 

I adore this lamp-post just outside the station. More lamp-posts should look like this!

Then it was time for our final stop of the day: Boston Manor.

 

Here we all are reflected in the windows outside the station - yet another bit of curvy architecture!

Huge thanks to Kate for organising the day, it was so much fun. Kate organised another photowalk last year (this time exploring the Northern Line)... hopefully I'll eventually get around to blogging about that one too!

February in Pictures: Beach Walks, Lunchtime Reading, and a Cosy Blanket

February might be the shortest month, but I squeezed a lot into it... including a mini photoshoot where Jo and I modelled my rainbow blanket as if it was a trendy blanket scarf, getting lots of funny looks from passers by in the process.

My DIY projects continue to keep me busy, and to make working from home a little chaotic as I'm surrounded by boxes at all times!

I decided to start blogging about the progress of my new flat (click here to read the first post) and was delighted with the positive feedback from everyone. Doing up this place is definitely going to be a marathon not a sprint so all cheerleading is very much appreciated (please ignore the mixed sports metaphors there). 

Most of the time it's not too bad juggling DIY and everything else, but sometimes it can be a bit frustrating. I had a bit of a pity party at the start of the month, feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't join in with an Instagram photo challenge because my home is such a mess and everything nice I own is packed up in boxes. I mean, talk about a first world problem, right?

After I snapped out of it I decided to have some fun and put together a DIY equipment flatlay - proving you don't need a beautiful space or lots of fancy stuff to get creative!

 

I love that photo and I also rather adore this snap of map-like paint layers uncovered while redecorating in the living room:

Here on my blog in February I shared three posts (one, two and three) filled with photos from a photowalk I went on last year. This photo isn't the best picture but it never fails to make me laugh - so many warning signs!

I also shared three fun felt fruit tutorials (apple and orange slices, strawberries and watermelon slices)...

 

... a free embroidery pattern to remind you to Never Stop Learning...

 

... and I blogged about the second wreath tutorial I've designed for The Village Haberdashery's blog. Unsurprisingly, February's wreath was Valentine's themed but as someone helpfully pointed out this wreath would also be great for Mother's Day. I think it would also be lovely for weddings or anniversary parties. You could also use the templates and tutorial to make embroidered felt hearts, which would make fab brooches or ornaments. 

By the way, how gorgeous are these industrial-look shelves in The Village Haberdashery's new shop?  I took so many photos when I visited to deliver the Valentine's wreath. Fabric heaven!

In the middle of the month I spent a freezing day in Bristol with some friends, peeling my gloves off to take a couple of quick photos then hastily putting them back on again. (It snowed. I had to go to Primark to buy a pair of fleece-lined leggings to wear over my tights. Brr!).

I continued to try to read more books, squeezing in some lunchtime reading and blogging about the books I read in January.

 

(You'll have to wait until the next "read more books" blog post to find out what I thought about The Miniaturist!)

I fell totally in love with my new bedlinen (bought from John Lewis in their January sale), which looks so great with my hand knitted rainbow blanket. This photo is pretty much a mood board for my home decorating plans: lots of white and clean lines but as a backdrop for all the colours. It's going to be a long while until my flat gets to the decorating stage but in the meantime a girl can a) dream and b) make Pinterest boards.

I also took so many walks on the beach in February and took so many photos along the way that I've started a new Instagram account for sharing all my pics. I'm loving exploring my new hometown, and it's proving rather fun having an Instagram account with a totally different vibe to my main one. Instead of craft and bright colours it's all beach views and soft greys and blues.

 

I might have started a second Instagram account but I've also been trying to enjoy analogue, offline pleasures as well. I've been doing some stitching (of course)...

 

... buying some lovely new stamps for my letters...

 

... and borrowing way more books from the library than I'm ever going to be able to read before they're due back (even with the magic of online renewals!).

 

I do love the internet, but it's wonderful to switch off the screens and spend some time with pens and paper and fabric and thread.

Want to keep up with what I'm up to day-to-day instead of just catching up once a month? I'm lauralupinhoward on Instagram - click here to visit my page and follow me. You'll also find me on Facebook and Twitter.